Saturday, 18 August 2012

THE VOW


“Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that.  Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.”
                                                          Martin Luther King Jr.


“If you judge people, you have no time to love them.”
                                                        Mother Teresa.


"Watching you walk out of my life does not make me bitter or cynical about love. But rather makes me realize that if I wanted so much to be with the wrong person how beautiful it will be when the right one comes along."
                                        -Anon


BASILICA CHURCH, GOA:
DATE: 01.09.12


Finally, I saw the smile on my Mom’s face. She is the best mother anyone could ever have. Her sleepless nights in transforming me from a half corpse to a human have finally succeeded. Adding to this, I finally agreed to marry the girl she chose and her happiness had no boundaries.
 
I was reciting “the vows”, in a robotic style. Not that I’m not regretting for the approval of this marriage, but it’s just that I don’t get any special emotions on seeing this girl, even when she’s in the most beautiful dress any girl can ever be in her entire life- The Bridal dress. I was just ‘observing’ her happiness in her eyes and smile on her lips. Just observing, not feeling them! Then I started reciting, in “Tim Burton” style-

“With this hand I will lift your sorrows. Your cup will never be empty, for I will be your wine. With this candle, I will light your way into darkness. With this ring, I ask you to be mine.”  


MY HOME, GOA:
DATE: 01.08.12
The break up I had 3 months ago, still had a deep impact on me! In fact, those wounds never heal! Gradually, I became addicted to drugs. At least, it was the only thing that deprived me of my pain. As I began thinking more and more about the past, dosage of drugs had to be increased to kill the pain. By the time I realized that it’s just a waste of my future, I already became a drug addict! There were days, when I just lived on drugs for weeks. My face became swollen and my body- a half dead corpse! Of course, I lost the pain due to break up, but in the process, I lost myself! My behaviour with the friends too changed completely and I had no one to call a “friend” now! My mother started worrying a lot and finally, one day, she threw away all the drugs and locked me away in a room! In the process, I bit her, slapped her and even hit her with my legs. But never did she lost the faith in me and she brought me back into this world! All this time, there was Ananya, my neighbor who proposed me many years back, waiting! 



BACK TO THE CHURCH:

“You may now kiss the bride”

And as we were about to kiss, I saw someone who grabbed my attention. I felt my heart beating so fast and my eyes searching so hard for that person! Or at least, I hoped that she would be there! And, yes. There she was, in a wheel chair! There was the person who has my heart, of course broken. There was she, in a state of paralysis, on a wheel chair; with tears rolling down her cheeks. She was my Maya!



LAKE, BHOPAL:
DATE: 01.01.12

Finally, I have decided to propose her! We both knew it was coming and I wanted to make it special. We went on a paddle boat and were slowly drifting towards centre of the lake. Suddenly, it started raining. Smell of the rain was fighting hard to dominate the fragrance of Maya, in vain! As she was playing with the water below, my mind was playing with the eternal smile of her and thoughts, with her immortal beauty! As rain has just started, a drop fell on her face and she was as lively as a beautiful flower with a few dew drops at its end. At the same time, my heart was experiencing the fear that her face might be in pain due to the roughness of those raindrops!

The breeze was sweeping her hair off her face, as her mole, on the lips was sweeping me off my feet. The water below was eagerly jumping to kiss her face as I was looking, envying them. As she was pulling my hand to show the fishes, I felt like I was falling into the well of infinity! I could not hold it anymore and said “Maya, we both know that this was coming. I promise you that I will be holding your hand from this moment, forever and ever. No matter whatever may be circumstances that try to separate us, I will never let go of you. All that I need is a yes.” Even though, she was expecting this, she was completely surprised and amid that heavy rain, I could feel a tear rolling down her eye and slowly halting at her lips. That is a yes! I know it right away and then I leaned forward to kiss those lips and we were in that state of bliss for hours together!

As many love stories often end up, mine too was a victim of Distance relationships. After the college, she went back to her native place, Hyderabad and me- Goa. She kept on complaining that there’s no one to console her personally at the time of need and no one to love her accordingly! She asked me to shift to Hyderabad. But I could not leave my mother alone, at this age! One day, she just messaged me, saying “It’s all over, don’t try to contact me.” And after that everything was common- Change of SIM, blocking in fb and all the other things! I came to know from my friends that her fb status the very next day, was “Got rid of the pain and found my new love, at last!”



BACK AGAIN:
All these memories just flashed at once and the line “I will not leave your hand at any circumstances” kept on recurring in my mind! Now she’s back! For me! And she’s in such a pathetic condition. I felt like hugging her then and there, leaving everything! But don’t know why, I chose the second oath! I chose to be the soul mate of Ananya, the girl my mother has selected. After “The Vow” which I took, agreeing to it wholeheartedly, Ananya started looking completely different! I felt that she completed me! And then, I kissed her, the bride, the soul mate and the complement!



TWO YEARS LATER:
After two years of treatment, Maya has completely recovered from her paralysis caused in an accident. Ananya suggested adopting Maya to fill the void created by the death of her parents in the same accident and we did the same! I never broke both the vows. Never did I leave Maya alone in any problem, nor did I share my heart with anyone else except Ananya!

Sunday, 5 August 2012

"LOST" in Friendship

Narrator: Samhitha

Everyone’s life is made up of three constituents: If the first part of our life are parents who guide us into the society, second is the career which defines our position in the society. Third, is the soul mate which decorates our defined life and creates a heavenly ambience around it. All the way, there’s one more, who created a background support and provided silent inspiration in every step of us- A Friend. My life too had all of these, and that friend was so special to me. In fact, he was so special that, I was forced to hurt him. Result was the scar, so deep into the both of our hearts that it probably won’t heal. Now, I just wish for one thing in my life- No matter how much my heart bleeds, I’ll give every drop of it for healing his heart. Here’s my story:



   Lately, it's been going away.
I think I’ve began to forget you. I wish I could get one chance to refresh my memory, I wish I could see how you looked with your eyes closed, or with your brows furrowed while you fended someone’s call, all those intimate things that only lovers know of.

   All I get to see are frowns now; defensive masks that you put up to not let a thing leak through to me, as if you fear I will keep your emotions hostage. I still wish I could see you candid again, unafraid to laugh out loud, or to look intently at me. Or the sky.

   When I see you next, can you promise to open yourself to me again, just this once?

   I have been haunted by him in these dreams asking me the same question, over and over again. Sad thing is that, I wasn’t able to answer these questions, even once.


   The first time I saw him- Neither there were any butterflies flying in my stomach, nor there was any romantic BGM playing in my heart. He was just any other person in the world. But not for long! Soon, he became that background which made the canvas of my painted life more beautiful. He ‘was’ my best friend for so long that time gradually wiped off the thin line between friendship and love and I was unknowingly swept into the world of love.
   It was too late before I realized that it all happened in a hassle and as I was dragged into it unknowingly, I forgot my heart in the world of friendship and there’s no place for me in the world of love.

   I was not able to answer my dream, not because I don’t know it, but because I don’t want to. I was not forced, I was not threatened. I just drifted towards the sea of love. I never felt sad for not feeling the same ‘love’ he felt on me. But I feel sad for not even regretting it. I feel guilty because I am the reason for the sadness of my best friend! We felt in love, despite our differences, breaking the strong bond of friendship unknowingly. And once we did, something rare and beautiful was created. For me love like that happened only once, and that’s why every minute we spent is seared in my memory.  I’ll never regret and never forget a single moment of it.

   Or wait! If it was never supposed to be love, why am I wandering over the point that ‘love’ like that happened only once! May be because, I truly miss him and love him- as my best buddy ever. We are still friends, after what all happened and shattered our dreams. But we aren’t the same old buddies who used to share everything and laugh at one another. We aren’t the same old pair who proved that pure friendship can exist in this insane world.
  
    I just want you and me to be ‘us’ once again.  Some people come into our lives and many leave us. But very few leave their footprints in our hearts and you are one of them. It is so simple. Just follow those foot prints again and you’ll be once again into the forgotten world. Waiting for u……